Single Advantage

Fostering a singles-friendly worksplace can mean increased employee retention—and more
Lucinda Armas | posted 11/02/2007

This article provided by the Engstrom Institute

It's 7:00 p.m. and your department's well-meaning manager walks past a row of cubicles. "Go home to your family, call it a day!" she tells a husband with two kids. Then, without thinking, she glances over at another manager, a middle-aged bachelor, and asks "Hey, working late again?"

Is it any wonder that in Christian ministry and the marketplace at large, many singles feel stigmatized, taken advantage of, or simply overlooked? The positive alternative is creating a singles-friendly office that produces an upside for the entire organization. The eye-opening demographics, alone, are cause to pause. More than 40 percent of the adults in the U.S. are either divorced, widowed, or have always been single.

One overworked myth

According to a Christian Science Monitor article about family-friendly workplaces, there's tension between employees with families and single employees. "People assume that if you're single, you don't have a life," Bella DePaulo, a psychology professor at the University of California at Santa Barbara, told the Monitor. "You don't have anything to do with your time, or you don't have anything that qualifies as being as important as what married people have to do. It's just assumed that you'll do whatever the rest of the workforce doesn't want to do. Their excuses can be totally flimsy, and on that excuse you have to work late."

Drs. Lyn and Ron Caley, missionary team leaders in South Asia with Christar, oversee both single and married couples. While marital status may differ, singles and married employees experience many of the same demands. Ron explains: "Both singles and couples have to deal with issues of discipline and time management. Both have only24 hours in a day, have to eat, minister and thrive in a community. The myth that singles have more time is just that, a myth.

"They may not have the responsibilities of a family, but they do have other responsibilities that use up those 24 hours. Singles must be more self-sufficient, in that they're the only ones who will have to make their own crucial decisions, go shopping, pay bills and wait for repairmen to show up. While couples often have the responsibility ofchildren, they also have each other with their different gifts and abilities and can lean on one another."

Change is good

Singles are becoming more vocal about the inequities of policies and a work culture that favors families. Employers are taking notice of this discontent and for good reason. Fostering a family-friendly environment, to the exclusion of singles, can result in poor morale, burnout and low-employee retention.

The alternative is creating a singles-friendly workplace that respects, nurtures and stewards all of its people—and pays productive dividends. A study released in 2006 by the University of Texas at Arlington shows that fostering a singles-friendly office environment can increase employee retention. For instance:

• Instead of the standard "here's what you get" benefit plans, companies offer "cafeteria style" plans, where employees select benefits from a list, with a specified monetary limit. The latter plan allows for different lifestyles, without rewarding larger families with more benefits for the same job.
• Workplaces are taking note of the language they use: "Work-family" programs are being renamed "work-life" programs.
• Companies are evaluating their current culture, created by both policies and people. They're striving to create a more equitable culture that values all employees, regardless of their family status. For instance, for a company picnic, instead of each employee paying a flat fee (which favors families with children), singles-friendly organizations are moving to a more equitable approach of a per-person fee structure.

So how do you create a singles-friendly workplace that addresses your employees' expectations? Lyn and Ron Caley offer two helpful suggestions:

• "Ask them what they want and need you to do as their supervisor or team leader. Some people by nature are very communal and need lots of face-to-face interaction, while others may relish solitude. You could put together all kinds of initiatives, hoping to be helpful, only to discover most of the singles find them lame and sometimes embarrassing," says Lyn.
  
  "I recently asked one of our short-termers what we could do for singles and she suggested providing a time and place where people could come together topray and fellowship, without the pressure of "matchmaking" or worrying about being misunderstood. When asking the entire groupwhat training opportunities they'd like,one career single woman suggested we look at issues related to single life in the field, especially because that's where we have a growing number of young singles. I'd also recommend reading Singles at the Crossroads, by Albert Y. Hsu. This is a good start, as ithasgood insights for singles as well as couples."
  
  
• "Respect singles and don't treat them as having a 'deficiency,' or 'disqualified' from leadership, because they're not married, nor expect them to clean up all the odds and ends of ministries because they're single and seem to have more time," says Ron. "God gave us all 24 hours, and we're all gifted with different abilities. Respect singles for who they are and for what each person has been called to do."

That's common sense wisdom every organization can apply—and every single person can appreciate.

(Because of the highly sensitive region where they minister, they asked that their real names not be used.)

Heart to Heart with a Single Leader

How does an executive who's single find balance (and avoid burnout) in the face of high, seemingly unending work demands?

We put the question to Dr. Arloa Sutter, Founder and Executive Director of Breakthrough Urban Ministries, serving Chicago's East Garfield Park neighborhood. Dr. Sutter also serves on the boards of Chicago Low Income Housing Trust Fund, the Partnership to End Homelessness, and the Evangelical Free Church National Urban Task Force.

What things do you do to maintain balance in your life between ministry and personal life?

I set some pretty high personal goals. I exercise regularly and read books and listen to sermons. I schedule personal time throughout the week, so I have margins in my schedule, and I take personal retreats for recreation and reflection. I'm blessed to have grandkids that definitely pull me into their world and away from work.

What advice do you have for single leaders (managers, executives) who may be close to burnout because of working so much?

I'd tell them one word: "Stop!" That sounds easy, but it isn't. There's nothing as important as the condition of your soul, and the enemy tries to convince us we're indispensable to God's work in the world. We are not! Work can get in the way of the real work of God when it's done through anxiety-driven bodies. In John 6:29, Jesus said the work of God is to believe. This belief is strengthened in devotional time away from human endeavor.

Focus on being led by the Spirit, instead of being driven by the needs of those around you or by your "to do" list. The institution of the Sabbath is very important. It's important to take at least one day a week to do nothing productive. I find it helpful to leave my computer off at least one day per week, to totally unplug, to be purposeful about not being productive.

Lucinda Armas provides creative and strategic services in marketing, public relations, promotions, and fundraising.