Online Connections

What one super-blogger learned by giving up social networking for Lent.

Anne Jackson | posted 9/11/2009

Blogging. Facebook. Twitter. Those three things are practically my middle name. I've been called a "social media butterfly" over the past four years.

The question "Can community happen online?" has recently been the topic of conversation on my blog, FlowerDust.net, and has also been asked wherever I go—at conferences, at churches, and yes, even at the local café where by chance a random blog reader might recognize me.

During my four years as the leader of a growing and thriving blog, I've seen incredible things happen. I've seen believers and unbelievers unite in generously donating over $200,000 to social justice causes. I've seen people openly discuss taboo subjects: pornography, depression, anxiety, gay lifestyles, and theologically gray topics.

In some instances, these online conversations have translated into personal communication (by e-mail, chats, or phone), and some have even turned into face-to-face meetings. The platforms of social media certainly give personal interactions a jumpstart, so to speak, because you do, in some regard, know bits and pieces of the other person's life.

But this is where it gets muddy for me. Is it community?

Given my experience living in both worlds, it may be surprising to hear, but I am beginning to lean on the side of no: what happens online is not community.

Now please hear me out: I believe what happens online is connection—not community. People can be vulnerable and honest online. At times these online connections can be more life-giving than our offline relationships, but they are not the same.

During Lent this year, I chose to close my blog down. I also didn't Twitter or update my Facebook profile. I still kept up with e-mail and chatted with some friends, but for those few weeks my social networking was put on hold. And during this time, I learned a lot about how my online habits both enhanced and detracted from my spiritual walk and my community with others.

After unplugging for Lent, for the first few days, I felt out of touch with almost everybody. They could live 2,000 miles away or have an office 50 feet from mine. I discovered that I was relying too heavily on social media to give me the life stories of those in my circle. When it came to people I see every day, I realized that I was putting too much stock into "knowing" them simply based on what they placed on their Twitter feed or Facebook profile or blog. A girl I know found out she and her husband were expecting a child. I was clueless because I had never picked up the phone to ask her how she had been doing.

On the other hand, sometimes social media can be useful—for example, for keeping up with my friend Kyle, who lives in California. It's great to get little snapshots into his life during the week to see how his family is doing or any new things he's working on at his job. Or let's say I'm at a conference. Using tools like Twitter helps me connect with other friends who are also attending the conference. I might not have known they were there otherwise.

Online networking has also provided new, easy ways for people to share their concern for issues of social justice and poverty. I recently returned from a trip to Kolkata, India, with Compassion International, a Christian child sponsorship agency. The point of the trip? To blog and communicate the stories of the people we were meeting. Using videos, photos, widgets, and Twitpics, we easily shared our experience and engaged others in child sponsorship through Compassion International. Over 2,000 children have been sponsored as a result of the three Compassion blogging trips. Not only are the lives of those 2,000 children changed, the lives of the 2,000 sponsors are forever changed, too.

In sum, online connections are great. They can be deep and good for our souls. They allow us to easily voice our passions and convictions. We can discuss important things. We can pray for each other and support each other through difficult seasons. However, when we turn online connections into an online community, they can and do impact our face-to-face interactions, sometimes with unhealthy effects.

When we spend more time staring at a glowing monitor than we do into the eyes of those we love—or need to love—it might be time to shut off the computer.

Anne Jackson is an author, speaker, and transformational activist who lives in the Nashville area with her husband, Chris. Her book, Mad Church Disease: Overcoming the Burnout Epidemic (Zondervan), was released in February 2009. You can read more about Anne at her blog, FlowerDust.net. This article was adapted by Anne from her article "The Facebook Fast" at OutofUr.com.

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