More to "The Ask" Than Meets the Eye

The importance of intentionality
Bob Westfall
This article provided by the Engstrom Institute

So you really want to be successful when you ask for a gift?

Practice makes perfect.

A friend of mine was hiring a national sales manager for a $3 billion division of his company. I asked him if the person he was hiring would ever approach a major sales presentation with an attitude of, "Listen, I'm just going to go out on a wing and a prayer and see what happens."

My friend was aghast.

"Are you kidding?" he said. "We get one shot at these deals. We practice, we rehearse, we role play, practice again, role play, talk about the possible objections, discuss every single angle of our response, practice some more, videotape the role play, ask questions about body language and response—and after all that's done, we really start practicing."

"So you take these things pretty seriously?" I remarked, tongue in cheek.

"Bob, we get one shot, my friend, just one."

I've never forgotten that.

Then I think back on all the fundraising presentations I've witnessed, and I chuckle—or cry. How many of those fundraisers or CEOs or Board members really took the time to prepare for an ask? I don't mean a loose conversation 30 minutes beforehand, but how many took the stewardship of the opportunity as seriously as my friend's company does? Granted, my friend works for a publicly-traded company that doesn't give a rip about advancing the Kingdom of God. They have a vision, all right—to grow their business aggressively and, pardon the inference here, to take their sales very, very seriously.

So how about us? How about those of us in the most important industry in the world—advancing the Kingdom of God? How seriously do we take the one shot we have to "ask?" What kind of stewards are we? I'm afraid to report that, often, we approach such monumental moments haphazardly, without practice, without rehearsal, without role play, and without much thought.

If we've got one shot, and one shot only, let me invite you to consider approaching such an opportunity with more intentionality, more concern, more preparation, and a bit more Christ-likeness. How do I mean?

Moves Strategy

Here are some questions to ask as you build up to the strategic and vital invitation or "ask" of your donors.

• Do we plan the necessary steps to the actual invitation? Have we considered every dimension of the invitation that sets us up to be successful?

• Have we "ordered our steps" to include research that helps us ensure we are asking for the right amount?

I know of a man who was asked to consider a gift of $250,000 to a very special project. The total project would cost $2 million. "You obviously don't know me too well," the donor said to the fundraiser. "Go back to your office, spend some time really understanding me and my family. Do some research and call me back." The fundraiser researched, studied, and confirmed that the project was an ideal fit for the donor, so he returned, but this time he asked for the whole $2 million. He also suggested to the donor that they name the building after the founder. The donor replied, "Excellent job! This project is exactly what our family would purpose to invest in."

• Have we put closure to and properly acknowledged and given thanks for prior gifts/commitments made to our organization?

• Do we have a project/program that meets the heart and passion of the family we are asking?

• Have we involved other necessary people in the process of cultivation?

• Have we thought thoroughly about who should attend the ask/invitation event? Should the president, a Board member, or other donor be present?

Thinking It Through

• What financial factors may be in play in the life of the family to whom we are presenting the invitation? Have we factored those into the plan for our "invitation/ask?" For example:

— Is the family company going public?
— Is the family selling a business?
— Does the family have children in college?
— Are they part of a long-term commitment to a Church campaign that ends soon?
— Is there an inheritance involved?

• Have we presented a "test ask" along the way to ensure that we are on track with our project and amount? At least one test ask should be done, if not several.

• Leading up to the "invitation/ask," do we have:

— The right timing?
— The right people on the ask team?
— The right project?
— The right amount?

• Have I done several role-plays and been presented with various objections and questions I might receive?

• Have I rehearsed how I will respond?

• Have I videotaped my presentation? If so:

— How was my body language?
— Did I look confused at any point?
— Was I confident or, perhaps, over confident?
— Did I stutter or use the word "Um" too much?
— Have I had others review my video? What was their reaction?

• What is the quality of my print and/or video collateral materials?

— Is the project clearly presented?
— Is a significant problem presented that we are trying to answer through this gift?
— Is our solution presented as a formidable answer to that problem/issue?
— Is our solution believable?

• Do we have experience in achieving what we are presenting in this invitation/ask?

— If so, what have our results been?
— Are our past results consistent with our anticipated results?
— Do we plan to present the outcomes we anticipate from this gift, such as:
>Transformational impact
> Emotional Impact
> Physical impact (if any)
> Spiritual impact (usually included in transformational case)

• Is there a specific timeline for execution?

— If so, do we present the timeline in an understandable manner?
— Is the timeline benchmarked?

The Invitation or "Ask"

• Have we bathed the meeting in prayer?

• Do we have all the resources we need at the meeting?

• Have we arranged for others to be praying while we are at the meeting?

• Have we planned to start the meeting in prayer?

• Have we referred back to the milestones we've achieved leading up to the ask?

• As we lay out our case, are we positive, confident, and assured of our solution?

• When we present the ask, do we do so in a professional, matter-of-fact style, that assumes buy-in from donors?

• After we have presented the ask amount, do we remain quiet and careful not to interrupt so the Holy Spirit can speak to donors' hearts?

Resistance May Not Mean "No"

Have you ever made an invitation or ask only to feel a subtle pushback or resistance from your audience? Over the years I've learned those reactions do not necessarily mean "no."

A CEO recently asked me to participate in an invitation to a donor for a $1 million gift. Just minutes before the "ask," the CEO informed me that he had to leave for a minor emergency. I was on my own.

Seconds after I presented the $1 million ask, the donor dropped his fork and said, "I bet they want me to be the $1 million donor." The room fell silent for several minutes. Finally, I said, "That was an interesting response to my question. Why do you say that?"

The donor said, "Every time they need money, I am the one they come to."

"Let me ask you a question," I said. "What is your desired outcome for this ministry?"

"I want the ministry to find more donors," he said.

"What better way for that to happen than to create a matching gift that is used only to inspire new donors?"

At the end of the conversation he had agreed to provide a $500,000 gift for new donors that, when matched, would equal $1 million. His previous high gift had been $100,000.

The moral of the story?

Don't be intimidated by the first response from the donor. Seek to understand their comments, concerns, and objections, and respond accordingly. Don't drop your amount immediately. Discuss the terms first. It so happened that the full $1 million was simply not possible for the above donor. We discussed it and the conversation naturally led to dropping the ask to $500,000 and distributing the gift over two calendar years.

• Have a specific and agreed upon plan for follow-up if an answer is not given during the initial invitation/ask meeting.

Follow-Up & Donor Remorse

What's more difficult, climbing up a mountain or down?

The fact is, more mountain climbers die on the climb down than the climb up. Why? All of their planning, attention to detail, and preparation was invested in the climb up, not the climb down.

Our natural tendency can be to focus only on what it takes to "get the gift," with little or no regard to what happens "after the sale." I know of countless donors who have been thoroughly cultivated and feel completely appreciated about their commitment, until after the fact, then they feel like the organization dropped them cold. In the donor's mind what they feel matters most from most ministries—more than anything else—is their money. But the fact is, the donor is as much a member of your body as your staff, volunteers, board, and program recipients (1 Corinthians 12: 20-27).

It's vital that we help make sure that each donor feels like part of the team, both all the way up the mountain, and all the way down.

Cultivation: Ongoing

If you will contemplate the points and tips highlighted herein, I think you will approach your next invitation or ask with a refreshing and totally different frame of mind. I'm almost certain you will find yourself much more confident, prepared, and genuinely invested in the invitation and the project you are presenting. In addition, I believe your success rate in closing significant gifts will increase dramatically. And, in the end, if all of us become more successful in our invitations and asks, the Kingdom of God will advance with greater acceleration.

Bob Westfall is President and CEO of the Westfall Group, one of the nation's leading major gifts fundraising agencies. The Westfall Group serves/ed such key ministries as Moody Bible Institute, The Seed Company, Guideposts, Luis Palau, The Bible League, YWAM,, just to name a few. Prior to 2002, Bob spent nine years as Senior Vice President for Ministry Advancement at Walk Thru the Bible Ministries.