Breaking Bad News

Opening the Communication Door for "Crucial Conversations”
Anita Schamber

This article provided by the Engstrom Institute

The movie The Wedding Planner highlights the enormous details that go into planning such an event. Imagine the experience of a wedding planner 2000 years ago at the wedding at Cana, to which Jesus and his disciples were invited.

The wine steward has informed the planner that they have run out of wine! His mind races as to what to do about the problem. His anxiety increases as he considers what his miscalculation will do to his reputation and future work as an events planner! How can he possibly inform the host of this embarrassing situation, which could provoke the host's anger?

As we know, the wedding planner was saved by a miracle performed by Jesus, who turned jars of ordinary water into fine wine.

Fast forward to a large organization in the 21st century. Cameron, a highly efficient informational technology specialist, is working on a facilities system, when suddenly a cable snaps! His $1,500 mistake is compounded by the possibility that unless he finds a quick solution, the air conditioning system of the building will be disabled.

How can he face his boss, not to mention the 500 people who will swelter in this 90 degree weather? Fortunately, he has a solid working relationship with his manager, Bill, and decides that it is time for a "crucial conversation."*

Bad News Leads to Crucial Conversations

At some time each of us will have to deliver "bad news" to our clients, bosses, or spouses. Employees may have to report increased turnover, loss of income, increased overhead, work complaints, feedback regarding management behavior, or team conflicts to their managers.

Managers may have to inform staff of impending layoffs, unfavorable performance outcomes, customer complaints, poor hygiene, or improper behavior. Spouses may report health issues, loss of income, or challenging family issues to their loved ones.

All of these dilemmas require "crucial conversations" between the people involved. The conversations are likely to produce divergent viewpoints and strong emotions. As a result, the message bearer often prefers to avoid any conversation which may damage relationships, her credibility, income, or his job!

While it is normal to have fears about bearing bad news, the best choice—as to when to bring the issue up—requires discernment. Sooner is often better than later, because the message may be like a buoyant beach ball that we try to submerge, which bounces up out of control when we least expect it.

Second, we must avoid flooding our stories with unnecessary details or defensive remarks intended to shift blame on circumstances or other people. Too many extraneous details only add to the confusion. We need to speak candidly, providing the "truth with love" (Ephesians 4:15).

In the case of Cameron and the snapped cable, he immediately called his manager and asked to see him. Cameron knew that Bill would want to receive the message face-to-face, rather than through an indirect email.

When they met, Cameron spent no time "beating around the bush," but first explained the facts about the cable as clearly and succinctly as he could. Second, Cameron made no excuses, but explained his part in twisting the cable too firmly. He remained objective, carefully managing his own feelings about the situation.

Third, he explained that he had researched the cost of replacing the cable. The bigger issue, he suggested, was the impact on the air conditioning system and his concern that it remain operational. Finally, Cameron suggested solutions to the problem and sought Bill's feedback in response to his message.

F.I.R.S.T. - Principles for Communication

The acronym FIRST may help us remember the steps Cameron followed to bear bad news in order to resolve the problem positively. He considered his manager's preferred style for receiving information and planned his conversation to develop Bill's support in dealing with the problem.

To Bill's credit, he had laid a foundation for trust and openness as the team leader of his business unit. His early team building activities had included the exploration of differences in individual team members' work and communication styles. Bill spent time getting to know how to work with each of his employees.

At the same time, Bill clearly communicated performance expectations, agreements and standards with them. Although he wasn't perfect by any means, Bill operated as a coaching manager. His first questions often were, "How can I help you with this?" and "How will you approach this problem differently next time?"

R.O.P.E.S.—Foundations for Safe Communications

When Bill first became a new manager, he identified five basic principles to follow, which he called "learning the ropes." They worked to build a safe place for communication with his team.

When Bill invited his team to share issues openly, they doubted initially that he wanted to hear "bad news." However, they learned that "bad news" did not trigger unexpected emotions because Bill looked at problems as a "mutual opportunity" to learn, grow, and improve processes.

His consistent behavior built credibility over time. On the other hand, very few employees made the same mistakes twice, because Bill was a careful manager of organizational resources and he expected the same concern from others.

Biblical Guidance on Bearing Bad News

As Christians, we know that the Bible is the best "management book" to learn transformational thinking and behavior. Jesus provided the role model of opening his disciples to "crucial conversations" which established patterns to follow with others.

In the case of our manager, Bill, he worked hard to follow a benchmark for good communication from James 1:19. "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger." He found that praying a few moments before speaking, calmed his emotions and produced better outcomes than would blowing up.

Giving or receiving "bad news" is inevitable. In most cases, we can't rely on a miracle to make the issue go away. Rather than focus on our fears, we must step out in faith and engage in those crucial conversations which will be the key to effective communication and God-honoring problem solving.

Anita Schamber is the senior associate for the leadership and organizational development team for World Vision International Human Resources (worldvision.org. Contact her at aschambe@worldvision.org.