A Mentoring Model from a Biblical Example

Mike Oney 
This article provided by the Engstrom Institute

Bob Buford, in his excellent book entitled Halftime, speaks to the issue of longing to move from success to significance. For many, significance will come more through mentoring others than anything they could accomplish on their own.

While mentoring has been greatly emphasized within organizational literature since the 1970's, this dynamic phenomenon dates back to ancient mythological Greek culture when Odysseus entrusted Mentor with his son. There are many definitions of mentoring but a common thread is the focus on investment from a senior individual to a junior individual, guiding them to success. It is my sense that mentoring is the ability to stand outside of a mentee's life and note the past and present influences while at the same time guiding them toward the integrity needed to make sense of where they are and move toward their life calling.

While research into the concept of mentoring is largely positive, there are some caveats. Sometimes mentors and mentees feel somewhat violated in the process. Mentors can feel cheated by having too little impact on mentees or consumed by the time required in the mentoring relationships. Mentees sometimes feel disillusioned because they expected far more than they received. For those passionate about mentoring others well, knowing practically how to best invest into another is vitally important. A distinct Biblical model of how to mentor can be observed through the Apostle Paul's interaction with his younger protégé Timothy.

Conservative scholars tell us that 2 Timothy is the last letter we have penned from the Apostle Paul. In this letter Paul is guiding Timothy toward the fulfillment of his life call. 2 Timothy is written from a cold Roman prison, likely within weeks of Paul's death that would come through the tyrannical persecution of Nero. Timothy could be considered a mid-life professional around the age of forty and in need of a father figure to guide him in the very difficult assignment of pastoring the church at Ephesus. It is remarkable to note the wisdom of Paul as he relates to Timothy as a mentee.

Perhaps the most notable characteristic of Paul and Timothy's relationship is that these men were passionate about the same causes. Both wanted to live a life worthy of their calling and impact as many people as possible in church work. Parker Palmer in his thought provoking book entitled The Courage to Teach speaks about the dynamic of a mentor longing to extend his life to another, and a mentee longing to have his life filled with what a mentor could give. Effective mentoring relationships are those where each chooses the other. One of the reasons that some mentoring relationships leave a wake of disillusionment is because of an improper fit between the mentor and mentee. In Paul and Timothy, we find two men with common causes and passions. This may be one of the most basic principles for exploring correct fit in a mentoring relationship.

Five Means of Extending Mentorship

In the book of 2 Timothy, Paul shows us five key means of extending ourselves into the life of a mentee.

See ideal qualities. We see this when Paul notes Timothy's heritage, calling, and giftedness (2 Tim. 1:3-7). Goleman, Boyatzis, and McKee remind us in their book Primal Leadership that the beginning of personal development often begins not with an assessment of our weaknesses but by seeing our ideal self. Paul demonstrated the ability to look beyond the surface of Timothy's life and give witness to ideal qualities that others could easily overlook. The first quality of a mentor is to see the ideal within the life of a mentee. We are unlikely to invest ourselves into what we do not deem as a worthy investment.

Encourage to guard special gifts. Paul indicates that Timothy must "guard the good deposit that was entrusted" into his life (2 Tim. 1:14). In 2 Timothy 2:1-7 we find Paul giving clear instructions to his protégé as to how he can invest into his special giftedness. Specifically, Paul uses three analogies to convey this message of guarding. Firstly, Timothy must think like a soldier that knows his primary loyalty is to his commanding officer. Secondly, Timothy must think like an athlete and give himself to disciplines that build parameters of conduct and behavior into his life. Lastly, he must think like a farmer that understands that his efforts will ultimately be rewarded. The key point in Paul's second quality as a mentor is that he guides the investments of Timothy into the purposes for which he was created in life. How many times have we seen talent squandered, simply because of a mindset that caused one to shrink back rather than go forward? Paul knew that if Timothy was to fulfill his life's passion, he must learn to think from the perspective of a soldier, athlete and farmer.

Warn of weaknesses. We find Paul warning Timothy about areas that could prove to be his undermining. In 2 Timothy 2:20-23 Paul overviews areas that would prove to be strengthening and other areas that would cause weakening. In Boyatzis' model of self-directed learning (also found in Primal Leadership) we find emphasis given to discovering both strengths and weaknesses in order to move toward the fulfillment of our fuller abilities. Paul directly challenges Timothy that some qualities will diminish his life to the point of ineffectiveness while other qualities will enhance him. As a wise mentor, Paul emphasizes that these character qualities lies directly within the responsibility of Timothy himself. Coach Tom Landry had a policy that if a potential football player had displayed poor life choices, he was highly unlikely to draft him. He found through experience that great talent cannot compensate for moral compromise. Paul seems to have embraced the same conclusion as a mentor.

Indicate need for persistence. Paul realistically indicates the scope of difficulties that Timothy would have to face in 2 Timothy 3:1-9. This passage reflects that Paul well understands that the context of Timothy's service would feel overwhelming at times. Wise mentoring will not only show the culmination of a life well lived, but also the truth that persistence through highly unpleasant duties is likely necessary.

Be an example. Paul indicated that he himself was a good example for Timothy to follow. There was no "do as I say and not as I do" speech from Paul. Rather, he boldly declares that Timothy should follow his example of how he has invested his life, and that he would not be disappointed (2 Tim. 3:14).

I find the closing of Paul's letter to Timothy particularly moving. Paul uses the phrase that he is "already being poured out like a drink offering" (2 Tim. 4:6). This referral to being a drink offering has its roots in the Old Testament where in the final stage of offering a sacrifice before God, the priest would take a cup of very strong wine and pour it out over the sacrifice which would result in smoke rising to God. The wine offering was not intended to benefit those who were offering the sacrifice, but was only for the worship of God. Paul's ultimate value of honoring God is put on display to Timothy as he shares his understanding that he is ready to be a drink offering.

What Mentoring Means to Me as a Senior Pastor

As a pastor, I have the privilege of leading a weekly mentoring meeting where I come together with several others who have a deep passion to be more than successful; they long to be significant. In this mentoring setting I am conscious of Paul's values as a mentor to Timothy. I have come to the conclusion that effective mentors must have five key qualities:

1. The ability to assess when there is a correct fit between the passions of the mentor and the passions of the mentee.

2. A deep understanding of the mentee's ideal self.

3. An ability to encourage the investment of the mentee's life into becoming their ideal self.

4. A deep honesty that will not avoid honest talks about persistence in the face of deeply unpleasant contexts in life.

5. A willingness to not only "tell the way," but also "show the way" with my own values and choices.

As mentors, we will do well to consider the question that Saint Augustine encouraged: "What do I wish to be remembered for?" For Augustine, this was the beginning of adulthood. In a society where success is often idolized above significance, we must have men and women who are willing to not only give others the tools for succeeding at tasks, but the means for finding significance.

Mike Oney, Senior Pastor of Grace Assembly in Wake Forest, North Carolina, has extensive background in executive denominational leadership, church planting, consulting, coaching, and mentoring. Mike holds ordination credentials with the Assemblies of God and is presently a doctoral candidate at Regent University.